The year was 2008. I was a timid, blissfully ignorant fifth grader entering hallways populated with kids who seemed much older and more mature than me. Despite that, we were all treated the same. In our homeroom class, we were given the rundown on what we could and couldn’t wear. While the boys had a short list of items that were off-limits, the girls had a grocery list, from not wearing shorts that ended above our knee to tank tops to anything that revealed a bra strap. I wasn’t sure why my middle school’s staff was so concerned with what we could and couldn’t wear, because it had never been a concern in elementary school, but I took those rules to heart. Shopping for new clothes became a stressful activity, one where I would have to determine whether I was showing off too much skin or not. More often than not, overwhelmed by the thought of an adult pulling me to the side and criticizing the clothes I had on—and, ultimately, putting a spotlight on my body—I took the easy road and opted to wear jeans and t-shirts. They were safe.
At the time, I didn’t understand why these rules were in place, but I followed them. It was better to play it safe than to become the center of attention or an easy target for the administration. It wasn’t until later that I started to question the purpose behind dress codes and recognize the inequality in the treatment of boys and girls. And I’m not the only one, either—for a while now, there have been numerous stories about students protesting their school’s ridiculous dress codes, from holding rallies on campus to posting TikToks challenging viewers to figure out what part of their outfit got them ejected. In spite of the growing recognition of the unfairness and problematic nature of dress codes, they still persist.
When I was in high school, our principal explained that the dress code policy was meant to help us practice dressing professionally to prepare for the real world. In order to enforce that dress code, though, the administrative staff would stand near the school’s staircases and stop girls for having “too-short” shorts or skirts. In reality, they were preparing us for the real world, just not in the way they justified it. Instead, dress codes are used to create a divide between genders, reducing women to nothing more than objects. Our bodies are a means of distraction for the boys who are trying so hard to focus in class. Poor Johnny can’t focus on The Odyssey because he can see a fraction of Sally’s thigh. And yet I saw boys arrive to class wearing tank tops that were so loose, their nipples were showing in class. They never got a dress code violation.
Even though the concept of dress codes is archaic, it’s still around, promoting patriarchal messages and suppressing women. I remember finding it odd that girls would be sent home for the clothes they were wearing, or asked to leave class to change into their gym clothes like they were wearing the Scarlet Letter. The highest concern was with the boys retaining their focus; staff members had no problem siphoning off time from a girl’s education to make her change clothes.
When I was in high school, I was lucky that a good portion of the male student body also called out dress codes, because it’s a harmful practice for them as well. Through the dress codes enforced at school, boys are taught to view girls as sexual objects, and that they should be distracted by them. Because this message is pushed on impressionable children, it produces prejudices that can become harmful later in life. Boys are being conditioned to think of women as a constant distraction, mainly because of how they look.
What frustrates me now is that the rationalizations for these dress codes are stuck in a heteronormative bubble. As ridiculous as it is to sexualize children from a young age, it’s single-minded to assume that only boys will be distracted by girls. By that logic, girls should be distracted by boys as well. And can’t girls distract other girls, and boys distract other boys? Perpetuating traditional gender norms for boys and girls through clothing restrictions is something so absolutely bogus and ludicrous, I can’t help but wonder how we got here in the first place.
Why do dress codes continue to exist and be policed? Who is preserving them? What are they gaining from it? The fact that male and female staff members commonly cite girls, not boys, for dress code violations proves that it’s not a black and white issue. There’s something that society feels is at stake to justify their suppression of the female body.
College was a massive relief for me. I didn’t feel like my superiors were watching my body every time I moved around campus, trying to discern whether my clothing was “appropriate.” I could focus on my studies instead of nervously tugging my shorts down, checking my bra straps, or pulling my shirt up high to conceal my chest. I became unapologetic and open to finally expressing myself through clothing without the fear of punishment. And the best part? No boy came up to me and said, “Hey, Alyssa, I can’t focus because your legs are on display. Can you put them away?” It’s like this burden that was an albatross for me in high school was never even an issue. Or, if it was, it wasn’t my problem.
While school administrations’ rationalizations for implementing dress codes are suspect, the reality is that, unintentionally, they have prepared girls for the real world in a negative sense. So many women have to endure cat calls, misogyny, and sexual harassment every day. It starts by creating an environment where girls are scrutinized for their clothing, their appearance, and their body, which only makes them more susceptible to the harassment and abuse they’re bombarded with later. Before college, I wished for school uniforms for my own peace of mind; surrendering to what administration staff deemed acceptable to wear would make life easier. If anything, that speaks volumes about how confined I felt by the rules. I never was cited with a dress code violation because I was so terrified of confrontation and challenging the norm. But it’s long past time to question that norm. Especially when it negatively impacts the education of half the student body.
Through all of this, I do acknowledge that, to an extent, dress codes are needed to prevent students from public nudity; however, beyond that, their restrictions need to be reasonable and enforced in an equitable way. The dress codes currently in place are overwhelmingly targeted towards girls, scrutinizing them for minor elements of their clothing that are overall more controlling than effective in creating a positive learning environment. It’s about time schools embrace the freedom of expression and encourage girls to thrive in their academic environment. Like boys, girls should be able to focus on their education rather than worrying over a dress code violation and its ramifications. We deserve at least that.
Alyssa Henderson
My name is Alyssa, and I’m a graduate from the University of California, Davis with a degree in English and film, currently working in the tech industry. When I first learned about Survivors to Superheroes, I was instantly touched by its goals to educate, support, and empower survivors because, unfortunately, there aren’t as many safe and helpful resources for young survivors online as there should be. Writing has guided me through challenging times and, with our literary journal, I’m especially excited to help cultivate a space where survivors and their loved ones can creatively express themselves through art and literature as a part of their healing process. In my spare time, you can find me cheering on the San Jose Sharks, attempting to play the bass guitar, and relaxing at the beach.
