This article includes spoilers and graphic discussion of sexual violence.
During pre-production of writer/actor/television creator Michaela Coel’s hit show “Chewing Gum,” she was roofied and assaulted at a bar by strangers. Therein lies the premise of her next miniseries, “I May Destroy You,” which delves into the intersections of consent, racism, queerness, and technology. Coel plays Arabella, a young writer who is drugged and raped on a night out with friends. The rest of the series delves into the aftermath of the assault and the experiences of her friends Kwame (Paapa Essiedu) and Terry (Weruche Opia), who also undergo nonconsensual situations. Created by, written by, and starring Coel with a predominantly black cast, “I May Destroy You” explores how violations of all kinds are viewed differently by all of the characters.
Many television series like to claim that they are intersectional by hiring token BIPOC characters or including a stereotypical gay best friend. “I May Destroy You” is one of the only shows I’ve seen that fully embodies intersectionality, a term coined by scholar, lawyer, and activist Kimberlé Crenshaw. Intersectionality addresses how our multiple identities affect the ways we experience injustice. While Arabella, Kwame, and Terry are all black Londoners, Kwame is a gay man, while Arabella and Terry are straight women. These differences are highlighted by the drastically opposing experiences Arabella and Kwame have reporting their assaults.
While both Arabella and Kwame were assaulted, only Arabella’s story is taken seriously by police. Kwame is forcibly humped until ejaculation by his Grindr date after consenting to sex the first time. His clothes were on and no penetration took place during the incident. Kwame and Arabella’s emotional reactions to their experiences also differ—Arabella opens up via social media while Kwame wallows in guilt and self-blame. Part of this involves Arabella’s willingness to share her experience with her friends, while Kwame hides what happened from his friends. Since the majority of sexual assaults are perpetrated by men against women and non-binary folks, many male survivors do not feel like their experiences are valid. Furthermore, being assaulted threatens one’s masculinity, an identity that is already questioned by society, considering that Kwame is gay.
Kwame’s situation stood out to me the most as a queer survivor. I also experienced an assault after consenting to sex that did not involve penetration. I not only thought that my story wouldn’t be believed as I was in an open relationship, but I blamed myself for what happened. “I May Destroy You” allows everyone to feel validated for the ways that society has abused them, from rape and sexual assault to racism and homophobia. We are all affected by societal injustice and rape culture, even if you haven’t personally experienced sexual violence
The show goes even further by exploring how survivors can be abusers and the many ways that trauma manifests. The character Theodora, a former classmate of Arabella’s, is a complex example of being both a survivor and a perpetrator. As a teen, Theodora’s boyfriend takes photos of her during sex without her consent. When Theodora finds out, she accuses him of rape. Theodora is white, while her boyfriend is black, causing increased racial tension amongst their classmates. We also learn that Theodora falsely accused her father of rape so that her mom could get custody. As an adult, Arabella joins Theodora’s survivors of sexual violence support group, causing the audience to question who can call themselves a survivor. We never receive an answer, as it’s up to us to decide.
“I May Destroy You” was not nominated for a single Golden Globe, despite rapturous reviews by critics and viewers. Yet “Emily in Paris,” a Netflix series unanimously mocked for its poor writing, acting, and premise, was somehow nominated for two Golden Globes. The snub is clearly racist, as the nominees for all categories were overwhelmingly white. Groundbreaking series “P Valley,” directed by a black woman with a predominantly black cast, was also ignored.
History will show that “I May Destroy You” is one of the best miniseries of our decade, ingeniously opening our eyes to the complexities of consent, race, gender, and queerness in the 21st century. And for many survivors, “I May Destroy You” is and will be an emotionally taxing but affirming part of their recovery. After the moral complexities of the twelve hour-long episodes, the audience is ultimately left with this question: how can survivors heal?
This question is never answered because, just like the show, everyone’s journey is unique.
Ilana Slavit
Hi, I’m Ilana, a 2020 Film and Media Studies graduate of the University of Oregon. I’ve always been passionate about representation of sex and gender in the media through a social justice focused lens. As a survivor, I am grateful to be a member of the Education Team in order to spread awareness of consent and pleasure. I am in the process of becoming an ASSECT certified Sex Educator through the Institute of Sexuality Education and Enlightenment. In my free time, I like to write, make short films, go to (now virtual)
