Yesterday I was taking a stroll down the street and I found myself unconsciously being extremely vigilant of my surroundings. The walk was supposed to help me relax– to give me time away from work and an excuse to get fresh air. However, my brain was continuously scanning my surroundings, sussing out potential threats.
I feel, as women, we have to always be cautious of our surroundings, where we go, how we dress in public, and how we walk. You’re taught that you have to walk with confidence so no one sees you as weak, but not too much confidence because you also don’t want to seem like a bitch. It is the realization of these little things that continuously reminds me of the patriarchal system of our societies. Women have to be always ready to defend themselves, always keeping our guards up. This makes a simple walk down the street feel unsafe.
Watching and listening to stories about survivors in the media also breeds more fear in women and the LGTBQ community, because, although these experiences are not entirely limited to this population, we are more vulnerable. However, living in Western societies, taking these simple things for granted is so easy. Being a Pakistani living in Canada for years now, I know I find myself not even thinking twice before stepping outside my home to take a walk even at midnight because I know I will be fine. Coming from a third world country, I have learned that you cannot walk on the streets even in daylight. If you are walking outside at night, ‘you are asking for it’– ‘it’ being getting attacked, harassed or violated. In Pakistan, it is extremely unsafe for girls or women to be walking on the streets, since there have been countless incidents of molestation and harassment on the streets, whether it is day or night. I think that is super problematic and takes away the freedom available for women.
I feel like this fear is ingrained into girls’ minds at a very young age. They are socialized into believing that they are always vulnerable to violence and hence, precautions must be taken to avoid it. While men fear being robbed or attacked, women fear something way more emotionally traumatising – sexual violence. Therefore, this socialization needs to be fixed; we need to educate our boys about consent more than we tell our girls to be cautious. These things are always learned; we cannot continue on the grounds of ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘girls cannot walk alone at night’.
A change in our mindset – that is what will take us one tiny step closer to reducing sexual violence and building a better world for our future generations.
