Yesterday, a friend from childhood reached out to me, asking if I would speak at a Solidarity Rally for Black Lives that she helped organize. I am a multiracial queer black woman who fights against injustice whenever I am given the chance, however, my first reaction was to say no. Not only because of the pandemic that has been controlling our lives for months, but because I truly have not been able to process the intense, although much needed outrage that’s burning throughout the world.
It’s important to realize that I am not saying that I have been unable to process everything going on around me because I am surprised by the horrific violence that George Floyd had to endure, or because of the sheer number fighting for my life and the lives of my family, friends, and community. Honestly, I have been unable to process, because what is happening right now in history is exactly what I have been expecting for years as a black woman in America. At this point, how could we expect anything else? We’ve been here before, and nothing has changed, no matter how hard we continue to fight.
For many of us, the past week has been filled with sadness, anger, grief, and fear. In the tragic wake of George Floyd’s death, social media and the news have been flooded with the urgent reminder that black Americans are in constant danger, something that I, and all other black people grow up knowing. It’s horrible that our world needed to get to this state for the general public to remember that action needs to be taken immediately so that people of color, and specifically black people, don’t continue to suffer. I’m grateful for the number of allies that are standing beside people of color in these desperate times, because if we don’t all actively fight against the systems that cultivate racism and breed violence, this horrific cycle will continue to take the lives of those who do not deserve to die.
When speaking about police brutality and the fear that police officers and law enforcement instill in Black people and African American communities, we need to remember that sexual violence plays an important part in this ongoing cycle of violence. Black people, and in particular black women and black members of the LGBTQIA+ community are significantly more at risk of being violated both verbally and physically, sexually assaulted, or sexually abused. These heinous crimes are also historically underreported because of the systematic racism and oppression that lives within law enforcement and the court system.
As we have all seen this week, not all lives are protected equally by those who have taken an oath to do so, and black survivors feel unsafe, often for good reason, going to the police for help. This is why I, myself, chose not to go to the police, and I share this burden with thousands of other survivors who are unable to get the help they need. So even if I have not yet processed what is going on across North America, I need to speak at this upcoming protest. Fighting to give black survivors the voice that they deserve is how I can make a difference. Our stories need to be heard so that change can be made.
To all my other Black survivors, you do what you need to do in order to survive. Process the news in your own time. Go out and protest or don’t. If you need to completely take a break from the news or social media, please do so. Surviving is your one and only job. Surviving is an act of resistance against oppression and the systems that have tried to take us down. You are doing your job by simply staying alive and living your experiences. And once you have taken care of yourself, then move on to helping others. Make decisions that make sense for your life, and please keep in mind that taking care of your mental health and wellbeing is of the utmost importance.
For all the allies out there, please do your best to acknowledge that as angry and upset as you might feel (keep feeling that anger and sadness- it’s the only way we will get through this) this is your moment to step down from the spotlight. Give your black friends and family members the space to have their voices heard, and amplify the voices of other people of color. For the most part, don’t write long posts about your feelings on the matter. Instead, share posts written by the black people who are directly impacted by these issues on a daily basis. It might be helpful to remember that all of the strong emotions you are feeling right now are felt constantly by every black person who needs to fight just to exist.
My heart goes out to George Floyd’s family, and may we all continue to fight this battle hand in hand. I stand beside all of you with endless love and gratitude for all you do to make the world a better place.
