I am a very independent person. I haven’t always been that way, though. It took some time and practice to fully embrace my solitude. I started by going to the dining hall at my college alone. None of my friends woke up early like me, but my hunger gave me the confidence I needed. Book in hand, I began to spend time alone as a way to honor my own happiness and challenge my fears. I’d go out to dinners, the movies, shopping—you name it. I find true freedom and joy in these moments. As I gained more confidence, my curiosity to experience new places around the world blossomed. But I knew if I didn’t go and achieve these goals on my own, I might never do it. I couldn’t wait for someone to hold my hand along the way.
Solo travel presents an opportunity to face challenges head on and acquire skills like resilience, problem solving, and positive self-talk. It is true that traveling requires a lot of confidence, but that quality doesn’t come overnight! My time traveling, especially while in transit, is spent reminding myself of all my positive qualities and my ability to conquer what I’m faced with. No matter what situation might present itself on this trip, I know that I have the skills and the emotional strength to handle it. The confidence I acquire after a successful solo trip contributes directly to my self-efficacy and my attitude around my healing from my sexual assault. I am capable of navigating this life without fear, and solo travel can only emphasize that fact.
As a survivor of sexual assault, there have been some real anxieties around traveling and navigating the world on my own. But next to those anxieties, I find a real sense of purpose and empowerment. Our patriarchal world continues to restrict women and people of marginalized backgrounds from pursuing travel. There are financial limitations due to unequal pay and employment disparities. There are cultural limitations stemming from norms that confine us to the home and shame us for having such independence. By intentionally and unapologetically engaging in solo travel, I resist those societal forces. My existence in this world does not need to be closed off. Not as a woman, not as a survivor, not as a human. I can experience beautiful places, eat amazing food, and meet new people without fear.
I’ve learned a lot of essential methods to feel confident and safe while traveling alone. The first tip is about grounding myself and easing my doubts. You can engage in this practice while you plan your trips, on forms of transportation, or before bed during your trip. I remind myself of all of my strengths and my resilience. I am brave, eager to try new things, and capable of overcoming challenges.
There are some best practices to ensure your physical safety. It’s important to plan a solid itinerary for your trip, including lodging, modes of transportation, and a rough outline of what you’ll do each day. Browse the reviews of lodging options and even call in advance and ask questions to gauge how comfortable you will be staying the night. Once you have your itinerary planned, share the details with a trusted loved one at home. You can provide them the names and locations of all the places you will stay and the rough itinerary of what you’ll do each day. By sharing this information, you are never truly alone on your journey. This provides crucial insight into your trip in case of any emergency.
Technology is your best friend while traveling! You want to take photos for memories, use digital maps for navigation, and listen to music to pass those long train rides. Make sure your phone is always charged past 40%. This will ensure that you are never in danger of being without a map or a way to call for help. There are very high-quality portable chargers online, such as Anker, that you can keep with you in case your phone is in danger of dying as you explore outside.
Traveling alone encourages a lot of interaction with new faces—yes, strangers! You will need to ask for directions, sit together on transportation, and make social connections. A few things to keep in mind as you get to know others along your travels: do not share the location of your lodging or invite strangers there. It’s important to keep this a safe and private place for you. Do not accept ride offers from strangers. The person may be well-intentioned, but you do not know them enough to trust them to drive you. Only use verified drivers, such as taxi drivers with IDs and licenses visible and certified ride-share drivers. Lastly, remain firm and confident when expressing your boundaries with people you meet while traveling.
All of these tips come from a place of care and love. Traveling doesn’t have to be a forbidden or fear-filled concept for those of us with histories of sexual assault. It can be a source of empowerment and healing, a way to prove those fears wrong and enjoy the life we are living now. My independence grows everyday, and the fact that I survived my experiences and have gained this sense of resilience drives me to continue to explore this beautiful world we live in.
Julia Kopala
My name is Julia, and I am currently working in Boston as a special education teacher. I joined Survivors to Superheroes because I am a survivor myself who did not have any support or resources to understand the gravity of the situation I was in. I want my writing to empower and validate the diversity of experiences and identities that survivors hold, amplifying the idea that healing is possible. Outside of the organization, I find joy in hiking, reading, and mentoring students!
