Trust, Tattoos, and Autonomy | An Interview with Zoë Bean

Following the traumatic experience of sexual violence, survivors often feel a deep and frustrating loss of agency over their own bodies. Of course, everyone’s healing process is different, but it’s very common for survivors to seek tattoos and other body modifications as a method of taking back control. To discuss this phenomenon, I reached out to Zoë Bean, a tattoo artist working in Brooklyn at The New Moon Studio. Zoë’s work is stunning, of course (seriously, check out her instagram, it’s amazing)–but more than that, she’s tremendously compassionate and easy to talk to. Even just over the phone, she exudes warmth. Here’s how our conversation went:

Laura: Hi Zoë! I’m so excited to talk to you.

Zoë: Me too! 

L: The Survivors team has been talking a bit about using tattoos and other body modifications as a part of the healing process and a way of reclaiming ownership of your own body. As a tattoo artist, what’s your experience with that?

Z: I think that tattoos are an incredible tool in that way. I think that everyone has experienced some form of trauma, whether it’s sexual violence or emotional violence or just–being a person in the world is really hard. More so now than ever. 

It’s been my experience getting tattooed and now being a tattooer, that sometimes, you need your outside to match your inside. There are very few things that you have control over in terms of your own body. It’s a way to claim parts of your body that maybe don’t feel good to you, and to change the way that you see them. 

I’ve worked with tons of survivors of sexual assault. I’ve worked with survivors of all kinds of trauma, and the getting tattooed process can be a really powerful experience. 

I think too, there can be a kind of catharsis through something that hurts, that you aren’t sure that you’re going to be able to handle and then you do. 

L: Yeah, and it’s also like–you choose it. 

Z: Right. It’s like: you’re in charge of this and you can also make it stop at any time. There’s a lot of control and power through it. 

For me, I also work with a lot of trans people, and it becomes the realization of the body that you want to have. And that’s kind of true for all people, whether you’re going through a gender transition or just going through healing from trauma. Realizing the body you want to live in and having some sort of say in what that is can be a really powerful tool. 

L: Absolutely. Is the tattoo process different at all when you’re working with clients who are recovering from trauma? 

Z: The way I approach things, I try to treat everyone the same. People tend to tell me their stories. I don’t always need to know the ‘why’ behind somebody’s tattoo, but I’m also fairly open if they want to share with me and if they think that it will help our collaboration in terms of the realization of what they’re trying to have on them. 

I think that I try to approach everyone with empathy and kindness, and try to make the best tattoo that I can. And part of it is my business partner, who is one of my closest friends. She calls herself an Intuitive Tattooer. I think there’s something to be said for meeting someone and sitting with them, having a conversation with them and listening to their idea, helping to steer them to a tattoo that is going to look good on their body and stand the test of time and also accomplish what it is that they hope to accomplish. And that’s a delicate balance. 

L: I love that idea–an Intuitive Tattooer. As a personal question: what was it that drew you to tattooing as an artform?

Z: Bad life choices.

L: (laughter)

Z: That’s totally a joke! I’ve been getting tattooed since I was a teenager. For me, a lot of getting tattooed came out of trauma and the desire to take ownership over my body. The desire to feel empowered as a woman. And when I started getting tattooed, there weren’t a lot of women who were heavily tattooed, so that element of it was really appealing to me. 

I was a painter and an artist for most of my life. And when I met my husband–he’s also a tattoo artist–he let me tattoo him at the very beginning of our relationship.

L: Wow!

Z: It was kind of his hook: “I have keys to the tattoo shop, do you want to go back and tattoo me?” And it was like: “Yes, absolutely.” 

L: Oh, I love that!

Z: I think one of the things that really appealed to me about tattooing was the community. Y’know, artmaking is usually a very solitary experience. You make art alone in your studio. And tattooing is the opposite of that, because you obviously can’t make anything unless there’s another person there. I was very drawn to the idea of collaboration. I enjoy talking to people, I like hearing their stories; I’m genuinely fascinated by them. 

So it’s a collaboration, and when it really works, it’s so exciting. Because you’re working with this other person who’s trusting you with their one and only skin, and they’re conveying an idea and hoping that you’re gonna be able to help them realize it. It’s a big responsibility but when it goes really well, it’s an incredible feeling.

L: I’ve never thought of it that way before, but there really is such community and collaboration in tattooing. Do you think that being able to have that connection with another person when you’re working with them, or just community through tattooing in general–do you think that can be beneficial for people who are survivors or are dealing with trauma?

Z: I think so. I mean like, it’s a tricky thing, because I don’t think that getting tattooed can replace therapeutic healing. And I find that sometimes people have unrealistic expectations of what getting the tattoo is going to do for them. In terms of like: “If I get this tattoo, then everything that isn’t working is gonna be fixed.” And it doesn’t do that. 

I remember vividly being like, fourteen, and thinking, “If only I had the right haircut, everything would fall into place.” And what was really going on, what was really wrong, was just the haircut–everything else was secondary to just figuring out that “right” haircut. And that just isn’t how it works, unfortunately. I think we figure that out as we get older. 

I think that the empowerment that comes with getting a tattoo is a super powerful thing, but I don’t think you can approach tattooing seeking that. I think there can be awareness of it, but I also think that it has to be the kind of thing that happens organically through the process. If you’re looking for something to fix a problem, it isn’t going to. I think you have to reach a degree of healing and be aware of wanting to change your body in this way, and tattooing can be a tool to help with that, but I feel like it has to come at a place where the hard work of healing has already been going on for quite some time. 

L: That makes sense. Here’s a fun one: if you can think of one of your favorite tattoo designs you’ve ever done, what was it, and what was it like working on it?

Z: Oh, that’s a really hard question. The favorite pieces that I have are really more about the person that they’re on, than they are about the tattoo. At the heart, it’s a collaboration, and when you find someone that you collaborate really well with, you make your best work with them. 

I have one client that I’ve been working with now for about five years, and we did her whole leg, from hip to toe. It was kind of a collage–we didn’t start out to do her whole leg. We did one small piece and then another slightly larger piece, and then another slightly larger piece, and then she was finally like, “Okay. Let’s just make this into a whole leg.” The process was so amazing that when we finished it, she was like: “You know what? Let’s do the other leg.” And we designed the other leg as one continuous thing. Now we’re at the midway point of working on her leg. We’d probably already be finished if we hadn’t been shut down for 7 months. 

But she comes in and gets tattooed once a month and it’s something I really look forward to. I feel like the two of us are very much on the same page, and when you work with someone over a long period of time, a real trust develops. So I’m like, “Do you want to talk about this part and how we’re gonna do it?” and she’s like, “Nope, do your thing.” That’s really exciting, to have someone say: “Here’s my right leg, go to town.” You definitely don’t start in that place. 

L: Oh man, that’s so awesome! For my final question: what would you say to people–survivors or otherwise–who are considering getting a tattoo, but aren’t sure? 

Z: It’s really, really important to research the tattoo artist. You should never ever feel uncomfortable in a situation with a tattoo artist. Meaning like: if they’re “too cool” to talk to you, if they make you feel not cool or stupid when you’re discussing your idea, etc. Trust your instincts and do your homework. Don’t be in a hurry to get a tattoo–generally speaking, people who are good at what they do will have a wait, and are expensive. It’s worth waiting and spending the money to get the work you want. It’s okay to talk to a tattoo artist about your idea and then decide you don’t want to work with them. 

I think especially as a woman, when you’re getting tattooed by a man, there is this power dynamic that happens. I can’t tell you how many women have come to me with tattoos that they don’t like, because they were in a situation where they saw the drawing and it wasn’t exactly what they wanted, but they didn’t feel like they could say anything. They didn’t feel like they had the ability to express that to the person that was tattooing them. 

It’s really important to be able to use your voice, and not get pushed into something that you don’t love. You want to work with someone who’s gonna listen to you and make you feel comfortable and makes you feel heard. 

For those interested, here is the contact information for Zoë’s studio!

Zoë Bean

The New Moon Studio 

68-117 Jay Street 

Brooklyn 

Zoebeantattoo@gmail.com

@zoebeantattoo

@thenewmoonstudio